You Need Someone That Gives You More Answers Than Questions

Photo Credit: Mark Bowden

One of the best things about needing advice and to talk things out with others is the gems and wisdom they leave you with. I’m blessed to have friends, family and even coworkers that have been so amazing in their words when I share things I need a different perspective on. I’ve even received words from people that I know God put into my life in passing. I journal almost daily so I tend to write down things I’ve been left with so that I don’t forget, whether for myself or to share with someone else when they need it. Last year, the area of heartbreak was one I was poured into with because for the first time in my life, I experienced it. I’ve been hurt before, but never like this. Since the feeling was so unfamiliar, I needed all the help I could get to move forward from it. One of my friends said something that I wasn’t ready for at the time, but needed to hear.

Sometimes we will hear something that speaks too much truth, and gives the answer we need, but don’t want to hear because it means we have to give up what we want. In this case, when I asked her what she thought about situations I was uncertain of with the person I was seeing, she said something that I wasn’t ready for but needed to hear. She said “you need someone that gives you more answers than questions”. I had to take a moment to take that in, because I 100% understood what she was saying. I was in a relationship with someone for 9 years that I never had uncertainty or more questions than answers with. His intentions and feelings were always clear, and if there was a time it wasn’t, he made sure to change that. Now I was in a situation where so much was unclear, and as my friend said I simply had too many questions and not enough answers to feel confident in where I was going with him. This is what leads to not only heartbreak, but situationships. It leads us to make assumptions, to base on words and not actions, what we hope and not what we have. It leads to wasted time, frustration, and one sided relationships.

You need someone that is able to in their own way make sure that you have more answers than questions in your relationship. There are many love languages so they may vary in how they show it, but you shouldn’t be left with so many questions you are thinking harder than simply enjoying being in the relationship. They should be your peace, not someone that brings you instability, insecurity and uncertainty. Communicate what you are feeling, and if you still continue to feel that all you have are questions, pray on it and make a decision if it’s best to leave until you have no question they’ve given you clear answers that confirm a decision to stay.