Unconditional Self-Love

The line "Wait til' I get my money right" from Kanye West's song "Can't Tell Me Nothing" perfectly sums up a period in my life where the "wait" was all that I could think about. My happiness, joy, peace and fulfillment lived in this future place that I couldn't wait to reach. Everything that I thought about and did was motivated by the "wait", and not the "now".

I was excited for the person that I would soon become, and had a very clear vision for exactly what that would consist of. I wasn't too concerned about my "now" because it was only temporary and served little purpose to the "wait" that I felt was soon to come.

It felt like a sure thing, so I was beyond shocked when the "wait" did not come, and was clearly not happening. I couldn't understand how something that I was so confident would happen did not work out the way that I expected, especially when it seemed so certain.

I went from putting my full focus on the "wait" to having no choice but to face the "now". God had to teach me how to love myself and my life just as it was, finding contentment in the "now". I realized that I wanted to move into what I envisioned as a better version of myself because I did not accept myself just as I was. I did not unconditionally love myself, instead only loving the idea of the woman I wanted to become.

I had to learn to no longer let my happiness be dependent on an unknown future, but on the current blessings of the right now. That doesn't mean I had to stop working on my future, having dreams of even looking forward to things to come. It meant that I had to learn to be just as excited for the life that I currently led and the person that I currently was.

God will not love a future version of yourself anymore than he loves the current version. Learn to have a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 love for yourself, that reflects the same kind of love that Christ has for you:

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.  It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.  It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Photo Credit: Nappy