Making It Hard For God To Be God

Most of us have a "hanging with the wrong crowd story" that was hopefully only a season of your life and not one that you remained in for too long. My "wrong crowd" story was when I was in my sophomore year in high school. I got back in touch with a friend from elementary school that at the time primarily hung out with people that were out of high school, or I should say didn't finish at all. At the time I was super innocent but continued to hang with that crowd because they felt so grown up to me. My Mom wasn't happy with my group of friends, so she continuously made my curfew earlier and earlier each time they went out with them. Considering that I was the youngest and innocent one of the group, I was mortified each time I was the first one to leave due to "curfew".

One night, one of the guys in the group was throwing a party at his apartment, which was a big deal because I didn't know anyone at that age that lived on their own. Since there were no parents to send us home, the party went on well past my already too early 11pm curfew, so I decided stay and avoid the embarrassment of leaving early. By 11:30pm I was so in my thoughts I wasn't even having a good time. I was trying to figure out what my Mom would be doing and if she would notice that both her daughter and car were still gone. By 12:30am I figured by now it didn't matter because she had to be sleep, so I started to relax and decided to stay until the end. That end didn't come until 1am, 2 hours past my curfew. As a group of us headed to the apartment lobby, I heard a people laughing at the door and saying "Somebodies Momma is outside". The rest of us ran to the door to see who in the world was out there, and to my horror....it was MY MOM! I'll start by saying that yes, it is true that you can see your life flash in front of you. There stood my Mom, arms crossed, hair tied with rollers, her robe, and a facial expression that said more than I want to relive even though that was 22 years ago. she was able to figure out where I was because my sister remembered the complex from dropping me off there a few weeks before. My Mom saw her car but didn't know which apartment building I was at, so she waited for me to come outside. That ride home was absolutely terrifying, enough for me to want nothing more but to never be in that position again. To my surprise not much happened aside from having my "going out" privileges stripped for weeks and suspended use of the car for a few months.

I still wasn't ready to give up on my friends no matter how much my Mom pressed that I did. The breaking point that made me realize that it was time came a few months after the apartment incident. One night one of the girls in the group and I spent the night riding around the city with one of the guys in his brand new sports car. Neither of us questioned how he could afford a car that nice and expensive at 18 years old, considering he had no job or money. I remember sneaking in late, around maybe 2am after a night of fun riding around the city. Not even a few hours later, my friend called me in shock that after she was dropped off, she saw him get pulled over and then hand cuffed. Turned out that car was stolen, and if we had of been out just 10 minutes later we would have been arrested right with him. By the grace of God I didn't get into any trouble hanging with that group, and that situation was enough for me to know it was beyond time to move on.

After that, I decided to listen to my Mom and distanced myself, soon meeting the group that to this day are my closest friends. I went from feeling out of place with a group to having God replace them with friends that were just like me. My Mom didn't even give me a curfew with them, and she didn't need to. Most of the time we were up late laughing and talking at each others houses, exactly what she hoped I would find in terms of friendship for me.

That experience has been a constant reminder that just like my Mom knew best, so does God. At that age, we can in our angst think that our parents are trying to hold us back, are out of touch, or don't know they are talking about. It took time, but eventually I would see that more times than not my Mom was usually always right. I'm grateful that my Mom has shown me that I can trust her wisdom so now I am constantly seeking it. With God, it's very similar, where after failing at doing things "our way", we finally realize that it's best to trust him and seek to do things with his guidance and instruction. I made it hard for my Mom by not listening to her wisdom and guidance, just as we often make it hard for God to be God when he tries to offer us the same.

When I've gotten my heartbroken or found myself praying for God to get me out of a situation that I got myself into, I always think to myself "If I just listened to God and didn't do what I wanted to do". God often tries to warn us, whether through our spirit or signs that guide us of what to and not to do. The problem isn't that God isn't speaking, it's that we aren't following even after we've heard him tell direct us in what to avoid or do. We make it hard for God to simply be God in in our lives by doing what we want to do. By grace he kept me from getting arrested that night and has saved me many times after that too. What we don't want is to have to "go through" in order for him to get through to you. Even more than that, each and every time he has removed something from my life, he replaced it with better or more. Trust in Jeremiah 29:11, that he doesn't have plans to hurt or harm you, but to save, protect and guard you. Let go of whatever you're holding onto and trust him with your plans and future.