“I Thought” Letting Go Of How You Thought Things Would Be

I’ve always been someone that has constant thoughts, which can be a good and bad thing. Being a “constant thinker” has allowed me to journal freely, writing out my thoughts and ideas in a way that is therapeutic to me. Some constant thinkers turn their thoughts into scripts, song lyrics and business plans. It’s a blessing but can also be a hinderance, like when you think to deep into a circumstance, replay painful events or get wrapped up in thoughts like how you thought life should be.

Steven Furtick and my Pastor, John Hannah have both reference the verse 2 Kings 5:11 to point out how our “thoughts” can often get in the way of and blur reality.

We “thought” by now we would be home owners. More traveled. Further in our careers. Married with kids or if we are married, that marriage would be different than it turned out to be. We thought if we achieved all our goals and dreams that it would feel more fulfilling. That having financial stability would give more freedom. That relocating would bring more peace. We thought by now we would have started that business, or if we did that it would have been more successful that it turned out to be. We thought we did everything right so we can’t understand why others seem to have what you worked harder for, the things you thought were guaranteed.

The problem with our thoughts is that they are often limited, especially when led by what we “thought” about someone else because what we see does not reveal the whole story. In my late 20s, I “thought” that I would be happy for myself working in a creative field. I desires to either be a wardrobe stylist, creative director or boutique owner. I thought working in the corporate world limited me and my creativity, and each day thought about how I could move into working as a creative in some capacity. I remember being inspired by others that found ways to create businesses, including the founders of Miss Jessie’s, Tito and Mike Branch. I thought they had it all, from beauty to successful businesses. I imagined how exciting life would be if only I could find a way to also turn something that I loved into a successful opportunity, that would allow me to travel and leave the corporate world for what seemed so much more exciting. I thought they were living their dreams and was shocked when Titi committed suicide in 2014. I couldn’t believe it because I thought she had it all and was so happy. I couldn’t wrap my head around how someone that seemed to have it all battled not only depression but took their life, the life that so many of their followers dreamed of having.

I “thought” and was wrong, realizing that nothing is what it seemed. I thought working for myself would make me happy when it turned out after doing it for a short time that it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. I battled depression and suicidal thoughts myself in 2010, so I understand that “having it all” means nothing. Depression can hit anyone, has no name and does not discriminate or pass over even those with success like Titi.

I overcame my own depression after giving my life over to Christ. He has spent years working on me, dismantling my thoughts to remove what I “think” and replacing them with his peaceful, hopeful and promising thoughts.

God gives us the ability to think, and desires that we use them to dream, to do his will and use the unique creativity he has given each of us individually. Just as God is in our thoughts, the devil wants to be a part of them too.

He is the father of lies and wants nothing more than for to have thoughts that are not of God. That we are never going to have our lives any different than they are right now. That our dreams are too big. That we aren’t good enough. That we will forever be our pasts. That when we make mistakes that we will never overcome areas we struggle in. That we are not beautiful. Worthy. Forgiven.

Take back your thoughts by speaking truth to them. Hold onto what God says to rebuke thoughts that are not true. Pray over your thoughts and ask God to reveal truth. I spent time chasing after a life and dream that would not bring me peace, and was shocked when someone I admired took their life, even though it seemed they were so happy. Pray for God to reveal truth in even what you see. God may reveal things that hinder you from walking in your calling, why the life you desire would peace, or reveal to you the special future he has set aside just for you, so that you no longer dwell on what you thought or think life would be.

Trust in Jeremiah 29:11 that God will give you a hope and a future. Trust that even if life isn’t how you thought it would be that he still has an amazing future for you. Believe that even if you’ve accomplished everything you’ve sought out to do that he still has more waiting for you.